Author: Emeil Stewart

  • Traveling for Career Success: Why Movement Matters

    Traveling for Career Success: Why Movement Matters

    I was rooting for the Spurs.

    I should probably start there. As much as I wanted San Antonio to pull it off, there was something impossible not to admire about Jalen Brunson leading the Knicks to a championship in San Antonio. A barely six-foot-something guard, Finals MVP, standing at the top of the basketball world in a city that was not his own.

    Of course, Brunson’s path is not the average path. His father played in the NBA. He grew up closer to the game than most people ever will. But even with that, he still had to travel. He still had to go from gyms to tournaments, from high school stages to Villanova, from Dallas to New York, from being questioned to being undeniable.

    That made me think about something I have learned over the last few years: sometimes doing big things requires movement. Not just ambition. Not just talent. Movement. You have to leave home, get in rooms, shake hands, ask questions, introduce yourself, and let people see that you are serious.

    For me, the dream was becoming a head and neck surgeon.

    That dream has not happened on the timeline I hoped for. I did not end medical school with a clean, perfect success story where every sacrifice immediately paid off in the exact way I imagined. My path has been more complicated than that. But I still think the journey matters, and I still believe the effort to get in front of people, tell my story, and pursue something competitive was worth it.

    ENT is a small field. There are only so many programs, so many spots, and so many chances to make an impression. Sometimes the difference between being a name on paper and being remembered is whether someone has actually seen your face, heard your story, or watched you show up when it was not easy.

    The hard part is that showing up costs money.

    Most of medical school, I worked odd jobs to make ends meet. Even then, there were moments where I had to find additional funding just to get to conferences. Plane tickets, hotels, registration fees, Ubers, food, professional clothing — none of it is abstract when your budget is already tight. I shared hotel rooms with friends. I looked for grants. I tried to stretch every dollar because I understood that if I wanted a real shot, I could not only exist locally and hope opportunity would find me.

    A lot of career advice skips over that part.

    People say, “Network.” They say, “Go to conferences.” They say, “Put yourself out there.” And they are not wrong. But for students without family money or a large safety net, every opportunity has a cost attached to it. Sometimes the cost is financial. Sometimes it is emotional. Sometimes it is the embarrassment of asking for help, applying for funding, or admitting that the only reason you may not be in the room is because you cannot afford the trip.

    Still, I believe travel matters.

    During medical school, I traveled more than I ever had in my life. Before then, I had only left Florida a couple of times. Then suddenly I was going to annual meetings, presenting research, interviewing, and trying to create a future in a field where nothing felt guaranteed. I went through the Midwest. I went up north to Boston. I saw different hospitals, different cities, different cultures, and different ways people lived and practiced medicine.

    That changed me.

    It made the world feel bigger. It helped me understand that my own environment was not the full picture. It reminded me that people build careers in many different ways and that sometimes the right conversation, at the right meeting, in the right hallway, can shift how you see yourself.

    I do not regret any of it.

    Not every trip led to an immediate result. Not every introduction became mentorship. Not every conference changed my career overnight. But I still believe those experiences expanded my view of what was possible. They made me more comfortable walking into unfamiliar rooms. They helped me learn how to tell my story. They gave me a chance to meet people I never would have met if I had stayed home and waited.

    That is the point of career travel. It is not tourism. It is exposure. It is proximity. It is a way of placing yourself closer to the people, institutions, and opportunities connected to the life you are trying to build.

    Of course, everyone’s pursuit looks different.

    If you are in academics, there may be travel scholarships, institutional grants, diversity funds, departmental support, research stipends, or professional organizations willing to help. Sometimes those resources are not advertised well, so you have to ask directly. If you come from a disadvantaged background, there may be programs specifically designed to reduce the financial barrier to attending conferences, visiting programs, or presenting your work.

    If your path is entrepreneurship, the funding may look different. Maybe you are looking for investors, pitch competitions, incubators, small business grants, private companies, or people willing to believe in an idea before it becomes obvious. In that world, you may not be applying for a travel award. You may be selling a vision.

    And sometimes, unfortunately, there may not be a clean funding source at all. Sometimes you save. Sometimes you sacrifice. Sometimes you make a trip happen in a way that feels unfair because, frankly, it is unfair. The people with the most financial cushion often have the easiest time accessing the rooms where opportunity lives.

    But if you are trying to do something difficult, rare, or highly competitive, I think movement becomes part of the price.

    That does not mean every trip is worth it. It is important to be strategic. Before spending money you do not have, ask yourself what the trip is supposed to accomplish. Am I presenting? Am I meeting someone specific? Am I learning something I cannot learn from home? Am I making myself visible in a field where visibility matters? Am I building relationships that could meaningfully affect my next step?

    If the answer is yes, then the trip may be more than a trip. It may be an investment.

    There is a version of ambition that sounds glamorous from the outside. Conferences. Flights. Hotels. Interviews. New cities. Professional photos. Name badges. But behind that can be a lot of stress, budgeting, doubt, and quiet sacrifice. For people without a safety net, traveling for opportunity can feel like betting on yourself before anyone else has fully decided to bet on you.

    I still think it is worth it.

    Big goals often require you to leave familiar places. They require you to be seen by people who would not otherwise know you exist. They require you to get close enough to opportunity that someone, somewhere, might finally say yes.

    That was true for me in medicine, even though my story is still unfolding. It may be true for someone else in business, art, sports, research, technology, advocacy, or any other field where the path is competitive and the gatekeepers are not always local.

    You do not have to know exactly how everything will work out before you go. Sometimes the value of the trip is not just the outcome. Sometimes it is the confidence you build by realizing you can enter rooms you once thought were too far away.

    I traveled more during medical school than I had in my entire life before it. I did it while working, applying for funding, sharing rooms, and trying to make a dream feel possible. It was expensive. It was stressful. It was imperfect.

    But it expanded my world.

    And for that, I do not regret a thing.

    If you are trying to do something big and you are wondering whether it is worth traveling for, my answer is this: be strategic, look for funding, ask for help, and make the trip count. The world is bigger than your hometown, your school, your current job, or your current circle.

    Sometimes the next step in your life is not waiting where you are.

    Sometimes you have to go get in the room.

    And if you are trying to figure out how to do that — how to find funding, how to think through whether a conference or trip is worth it, or how to take the next step toward a goal that feels bigger than your current environment — feel free to reach out. I am currently a busy surgery resident, so my responses may not always be immediate, but I genuinely enjoy hearing from people with big goals and helping them think through possible next steps.

  • The New Year Blueprint: Architecting Stability, Health, and Chosen Family

    The New Year often feels like a race everyone else has already started. For those of us from the foster care system, that feeling of being “behind” is familiar. But the New Year isn’t about catching up to others; it’s about reflecting, visualizing, and clearing the path for the life you want to lead.

    Instead of rigid resolutions, I like to look at three pillars: Financial Fitness, Physical Vitality, and Relational Discernment.


    1. Financial Fitness: The Foundation of Freedom

    Everything starts here. Financial fitness isn’t just about numbers; it’s about time and lifestyle freedom. * Audit and Clear: Use this season to look back at your spending. Where did the money go? This is the time to address debts and organize a budget that serves you, not the other way around.

    • The Career Segue: Once your finances are straight, you can see your career clearly. Do you need to earn more? Is it time to pivot? Whether it’s enrolling in the police academy, joining the military, or getting your CDL, now is the time to align your career with the results you want for your life.
    • Passion Projects: When your “financial framework” is solid, you have the mental margin to work on your art, your sport, or your side passions without the stress of survival mode.

    2. Physical Vitality: Fueling the Journey

    Physical fitness is a direct extension of your financial discussion. You have to ask: Can I afford the gym? Does my job or insurance provide a wellness benefit?

    • The “No Ramen” Rule: We’ve all been there, but the goal is to move past survival eating. Whether you choose a Mediterranean diet or a high-protein meal prep, your diet should reflect your goals.
    • The Logistics of Nutrition: If you’re busy, maybe you invest in a meal prep service to hit your macros accurately. If you’re on a budget, aim for the $5-per-meal healthy prep. Tracking and weighing what you eat isn’t just about weight—it’s about taking data-driven control of your health.

    3. Friends & Family: Breaking Generational Curses

    In foster care, “family” can be a complicated word. You might not have the traditional support system, but you are never truly alone if you are intentional.

    • Chosen Family: This is the year to commit to people with shared values. Building a “chosen family” provides the stability you might not have had growing up.
    • Dating with Discernment: As a man, I’ve learned that dating around without purpose is a drain. I look for a woman who fits my life architecture, and I aim to fit hers. This mindset of abundance and discernment is how we break generational curses. By refusing to settle out of pressure, you ensure that when you do start a family, it is a healthy, stable environment for children.
    • Building Community: This year, I’m focused on how I orbit within my community—whether that’s coaching youth sports, church involvement, or mentoring other foster children.

    Visualizing the Year Ahead

    I don’t believe in “hard goals” that break the moment life gets messy. I believe in mental visualization. There will be ups and downs—that’s the exciting part of the journey.

    This year isn’t about being perfect; it’s about designing a life you’re proud of and building a sense of community that lasts.

    Happy New Year. Let’s build something real.

  • Breaking the Cycle: Understanding the Foster Care-to-Prison Pipeline

    The journey from childhood to adulthood is rarely straightforward, but for youth in the foster care system, it can often feel like navigating a landscape riddled with invisible traps. One of the most heartbreaking and unjust pathways that disproportionately affects this population is the “foster care-to-prison pipeline”—a term highlighting the alarming connection between experiencing foster care and later involvement in the criminal justice system.

    This isn’t just an abstract theory; it’s a systemic failure backed by sobering research.

    As someone who navigated the system, I’ve reflected a lot on this. I was fortunate—I found a degree of stability in academic performance and was lucky enough to have and hear mentors who shared strategies for success. But I recognize that this is not a reasonable or scalable expectation. We cannot build a system that relies on every child to perform exceptionally under duress just to achieve a stable life. The very existence of the prison pipeline is proof that this expectation is failing our most vulnerable youth.


    The Alarming Data

    The statistics are not just numbers; they represent individual lives rerouted from potential to confinement.

    • Placement Instability: This is one of the greatest risk factors. While data from the child welfare system can be complex, advocacy groups like the Juvenile Law Center have widely cited a statistic that more than 90% of youth in foster care who have five or more placements will become involved in the juvenile justice system. While the primary study is not easily accessible, the correlation is well-established.
    • Placement Type: The kind of placement matters immensely. Verifiable research shows that youth placed in group homes are 2.5 times more likely to become involved in the justice system than their peers placed with foster families.
    • System “Crossover”: The overlap is significant. A multi-city study on “crossover youth” (those in both the child welfare and juvenile justice systems) found that the rate of dual involvement was as high as 24.3% in some areas.
    • Immediate Outcomes: The connection is fast. Some studies show that 25% of former foster youth will be involved with the criminal justice system within just two years of leaving care.

    Why Does This Pipeline Exist?

    This pipeline is not a coincidence. It’s the result of systemic vulnerabilities that child welfare-involved youth are forced to navigate:

    1. Unmet Trauma: Foster youth experience high rates of trauma (abuse, neglect, separation). Without consistent, trauma-informed mental healthcare, this trauma can manifest as behavioral issues, leading to school suspensions, expulsions, and contact with law enforcement.
    2. Placement Instability: As the statistic above shows, frequent moves disrupt everything—education, friendships, and the chance to build a trusting relationship with an adult. Each move is a new trauma that can heighten behavioral issues.
    3. The School-to-Prison Funnel: Zero-tolerance policies in schools often funnel foster youth, particularly youth of color, directly into the justice system for behaviors that might be handled differently for other students.
    4. Criminalization of “Survival”: Many youth who “age out” lack adequate housing and financial support. They may be arrested for activities like shoplifting, trespassing, or selling drugs simply to survive.
    5. Criminalization of “Normal” Behavior: Behaviors that are seen as typical teenage rebellion in a stable home (like slamming a door or yelling) can be criminalized in group home settings, leading to police involvement for minor infractions.

    The Lifelong Cost: A Barrier to a Professional Future

    This pipeline does more than just cost a young person their freedom. It erects permanent barriers to a professional career and a stable, contributing life:

    • Barriers to Employment: The most immediate impact is on employment. Nearly all professional career applications, and even many entry-level jobs, require a criminal background check. A record can mean instant disqualification.
    • Barriers to Education: Many colleges and professional schools (like medical school, law school, etc.) ask about an applicant’s criminal history, which can severely hinder or block admission.
    • Loss of Opportunity: Time spent incarcerated is time not spent building a resume, gaining work experience, or developing professional skills. It severs connections to potential mentors and erodes any existing job skills.

    In short, the pipeline slams the door on the very future we’re all told to strive for. It prevents talented, resilient individuals from becoming the doctors, lawyers, and contributing community members they could have been.


    Breaking the Pipeline: What Needs to Happen

    Addressing this requires systemic change, but it also relies on the actions of individuals.

    For the System:

    • Prioritize Stability: End the cycle of “5+ placements.” This means investing in family preservation and high-quality, stable foster homes.
    • Fund Trauma-Informed Care: Provide consistent, accessible, evidence-based mental health support that understands and addresses the root causes of behavior.
    • Educational Advocacy: Ensure foster youth have educational stability (the right to stay in their “school of origin”) and alternatives to punitive school discipline.

    For Foster Parents: How You Can Be the “Pipeline Breaker” Foster parents are in the most powerful position to stop this cycle. Here are strategies:

    1. Practice Trauma-Informed Parenting:
      • Connection Before Correction: When a child acts out, see the behavior as communication of a need or a trauma trigger. Use a calm voice and validate their feelings before addressing the behavior.
      • Give Voice and Choice: Trauma often stems from a total loss of control. Restore a sense of agency by offering simple, appropriate choices.
      • Reframe Discipline: Instead of punitive “consequences,” focus on teaching new skills.
    2. Be Their Advocate in School:
      • Attend every school meeting. Know their “Education Liaison.”
      • Push for alternatives to suspension. Ask about “restorative justice” practices.
    3. Do Not Call the Police for Behavioral Issues:
      • This is the most direct way youth enter the pipeline. Calling the police on a child for non-violent, trauma-related behavior introduces them to the justice system.
      • Instead: De-escalate. Use your trauma-informed skills. Call your caseworker or a mobile crisis intervention team for support. Use law enforcement only as a last resort for serious, immediate safety threats.

    The foster care-to-prison pipeline is a preventable tragedy. By shining a light on its causes and advocating for change, we can work towards a future where every child in care has a clear path to success, not incarceration.

    What changes do you believe would make the biggest difference? Share your thoughts in the comments.

  • How to Get Your Free Health Insurance (A Guide for Former Foster Youth)

    In the last post, we talked about how to navigate the healthcare system. In this one, we’re making sure you have the key to get in the door.

    One of the biggest anxieties of aging out of foster care is the fear of falling off a cliff. Suddenly, the safety nets are gone, and one of the first to disappear is consistent health insurance. For many, this means avoiding the doctor, ignoring dental pain, and putting off mental health support. But there’s a law that was passed specifically for us—a promise designed to bridge this exact gap.

    Here is the simple, powerful truth: If you were in foster care on your 18th birthday or older, you are likely eligible for free, comprehensive health insurance until the day you turn 26.

    What is This Rule, Exactly?

    This isn’t a loophole or a temporary program. It’s a permanent provision of the Affordable Care Act (ACA). It mandates that every state provide free Medicaid coverage to all eligible former foster youth until they turn 26.

    The eligibility is straightforward:

    • You were in foster care in any state on your 18th birthday or later.
    • You are currently under the age of 26.

    That’s it. There are no income requirements. It doesn’t matter if you’re a student or if you have a job.

    This Sounds Too Good to Be True. What’s the Catch?

    The only “catch” is that it’s not automatic. This benefit was created for you, but the system often fails to tell you about it or makes it difficult to enroll. The system relies on you to know your rights and to take action.

    This is full health insurance. It typically covers:

    • Doctor visits (Primary Care and Specialists)
    • Hospital and Emergency Room care
    • Prescriptions
    • Full dental, vision, and mental health services

    Your Step-by-Step Enrollment Guide

    Step 1: Gather Your Documents Before you apply, you’ll need a couple of things. The most important is a verification letter that proves you were in foster care. If you don’t have one, contact the child welfare agency (DCF, DFPS, etc.) in the state or county where you were in care. Ask the records department or your former caseworker for an official “foster care verification letter.” You’ll also need a form of ID and your Social Security number.

    Step 2: Find and Contact Your State’s Medicaid Agency Medicaid is run by each state. The easiest way to apply is usually online. You can find your state’s specific Medicaid agency website by going to HealthCare.gov and selecting your state.

    Step 3: Use the “Magic Words” When You Apply Whether you are on the phone or filling out a form, use this specific language: “I am applying for Medicaid under the Affordable Care Act provision for former foster youth who have aged out.” Using this official phrasing can help cut through confusion and get you to the right person faster.

    Common Problems & How to Solve Them

    • Problem: “The person I spoke to doesn’t know about this rule.”
      • Solution: Be persistent and polite. Say, “This is a federal provision under the ACA for former foster youth. Could I please speak with a supervisor who might be more familiar with this specific eligibility category?”
    • Problem: “I’ve moved to a new state since I was in foster care.”
      • Solution: You need to apply in the state where you currently live. You will still need your verification letter from the state you were in care in. This can sometimes be a hurdle, but you are still eligible.
    • Problem: “I already have insurance through my job.”
      • Solution: You are still eligible. Medicaid can often act as a secondary insurance, potentially covering copays or other costs your primary insurance doesn’t.

    You Are Entitled to This

    This isn’t a favor; it’s a right. Having stable health insurance is a foundation for everything else in your life—your education, your career, your future. It is a tool designed to give you the stability that was often missing in our childhoods.

    Please, share this post. Share it with every foster care alumni you know. This is the information our community needs to not just survive, but to thrive.

  • Your No-Shame Guide to “Adulting” in Healthcare

    Your No-Shame Guide to “Adulting” in Healthcare

    While I’m submitting my applications for my first job as a physician, I’ve started to think more about my own health and the journey it took to get here. It’s a huge milestone, and I thought it’d be a great time to create a quick guide on one of the most confusing parts of becoming an adult: navigating the healthcare system.

    To make this as helpful as possible, I didn’t want to rely on just my own experience. I’ve done some digging and pulled together advice from some of the most trusted health resources online, like patient advocacy groups and official government health sites, to create a reliable guide.

    I remember the first time I had to make my own doctor’s appointments. The process was so confusing. Where was I supposed to go? What was the difference between an Internal Medicine doctor and a Family Medicine doctor? When should I go to the emergency room versus an urgent care clinic? How much would it all cost? How often should I even be going? The process felt so arduous that I remember the urge to just give up and only go to the doctor when a serious problem came up. This guide is my hope to make managing your health feel easier, so you don’t have to do that.


    First Things First: What If You Don’t Have Insurance?

    Before we get into the details, let’s address the biggest hurdle. If you don’t currently have insurance, you are not out of options. Look for Federally Qualified Health Centers (FQHCs) or Community Health Centers in your area. They are required to provide care to everyone, regardless of your ability to pay, and often use a sliding scale based on your income. Non-profit hospitals also have financial assistance or “charity care” programs you can apply for.

    Navigating this can be tough, but it’s critical to know this—especially for former foster youth—there are special provisions that mean you very likely should not be uninsured before you turn 26. (We will cover this in detail in the next post!)


    Step 1: Finding Your Team

    The first hurdle is finding a doctor, dentist, or therapist who accepts your insurance. The key is finding someone “in-network” to avoid surprise bills.

    • Start with the Official Source: Reputable sites like Healthcare.gov always recommend starting with your insurance plan’s official “Provider Directory” tool on their website. This is the most accurate list of doctors who have a deal with your insurance company.
    • Confirm, Confirm, Confirm: Patient advocates stress that you should always call the doctor’s office directly before your first visit. Websites can be outdated. Ask them two simple questions: “Are you accepting new patients?” and “Do you still accept [Your Exact Insurance Plan Name]?”
    • Use Your Resources: Organizations focused on foster youth, like the Annie E. Casey Foundation, often highlight that dental and vision care are just as critical as medical care. Use the same process to find a dentist and an optometrist in your network.

    Step 2: Decoding the Lingo

    Your insurance card can feel like it’s written in another language. We’ll do a deep dive into the specifics of getting and keeping your insurance in our next post, but let’s quickly decode the terms you’ll see once you have your card.

    • In-Network: The group of doctors, hospitals, and clinics that have a contract with your insurance plan. Staying in-network is the #1 rule for keeping costs down.
    • Copay: A fixed amount you pay for a service. Many health experts point out that for Medicaid plans, your copay is often $0 for standard visits.
    • Deductible: The amount you have to pay for your covered health services before your insurance plan starts to pay. It’s a critical term to understand for any future insurance you might get through an employer.

    Step 3: Owning Your Doctor’s Visit

    Walking into an exam room can be intimidating. But remember, the goal is a partnership between you and your doctor.

    • Prepare Before You Go: Organizations like the National Patient Advocate Foundation have a universal top tip: write down your questions and concerns before your appointment. It’s easy to forget things in the moment. Bring a list on your phone.
    • Advocate for Understanding: Health literacy experts all agree that one of the most powerful things a patient can do is ask for clarity. If you don’t understand something, use a simple phrase like, “I’m sorry, can you explain that to me in a simpler way?”
    • Leave with a Plan: A common piece of advice from health journalists is to always know the next steps before you leave. Ask your doctor, “So, what’s the plan?” This ensures you know if you need to pick up a prescription, schedule a follow-up, or get blood work.

    Taking charge of your health is a skill you build over time. By using these tips from trusted sources, you can walk into any healthcare setting with more confidence and control.

    What’s the best online resource you’ve found for health advice? Share it in the comments below!

  • The Long Road to a New Home: Reflections on the Residency Application

    The Long Road to a New Home: Reflections on the Residency Application

    There’s a unique quiet that settles in when you’re standing at a significant doorway. For medical students, that doorway is the residency application. It’s a moment suspended between years of relentless effort and a future that is still just a hopeful outline. As I navigate this process, surrounded by personal statements and program lists, I’m struck by a profound sense of déjà vu. This feeling of packaging up your life, your history, and your potential for others to review—it’s a territory I’ve known before.

    For those of us who grew up in the foster care system, our lives were often summarized in case files. We were collections of reports, assessments, and decisions made by others, all attempting to chart a course for our lives. The goal was always to find the right “placement.” Now, years later, the language has changed, but the feeling is strikingly familiar. My ERAS application is a new kind of file, but this time, I am its sole author. This time, I am the one charting the course.

    The process of applying to residency is, in many ways, a search for a professional home. We look for programs with the right training, the right culture, and the right people to help us grow. The word “home” itself carries a complex weight for anyone from a disadvantaged background. It’s a concept we learned to define for ourselves, often built from chosen family, supportive mentors, and communities that offered us a place to belong. This search has taught me to look beyond the prestige or the name on the building. It has taught me to look for the heart of a place. Is there genuine mentorship? Is there a commitment to serving the underserved? Is there a team that lifts each other up? These are the questions I’m asking, because the last decade has proven that the right environment isn’t just a preference; it’s the foundation upon which everything else is built.

    As I look at residency programs, I find myself lingering on the residents’ hobbies. It’s not because I think it will have a profound effect on my training, but because it would be nice to find someone in the long years ahead who appreciates food and cooking the way I do. I still remember the feeling of camaraderie during an audition rotation at Cornell, when a fellow student and I agreed that not all water tastes the same. That stuff matters.

    Perhaps the most empowering part of this journey has been writing the personal statement. For years, my story was written for me in official documents. Today, I get to tell it myself. I get to connect the dots between the resilient kid who navigated a complex system and the determined medical student ready to care for patients. After all, not everyone in undergrad had to work three different jobs while trying to score in the 90th percentile on the MCAT. And not everyone has the experience of living in so many different environments, connecting with so many families inside their homes. This isn’t a story about hardship for the sake of it; it’s a story about turning challenges into strengths.

    To any young person reading this who is facing their own set of case files—whether they’re from a social worker, a guidance counselor, or just the quiet doubts in your own mind—know this: You are the author of your own story. Every obstacle you overcome is a skill you’ve earned. Every time you choose to keep going, you are building a resilience that will be your greatest asset in any career you choose.

    This application isn’t just an endpoint; it’s a milestone on a much longer journey. It’s a testament to the idea that where you come from does not have to dictate where you are going. I don’t know which hospital will be my new home yet, but I step toward this doorway with gratitude and a steady confidence. The course is charted, and I’m ready for the next leg of the voyage.

  • How I Learned to Cook — From Survival to Hobby

    How I Learned to Cook — From Survival to Hobby

    Cooking is a big deal to me. It’s one of my favorite hobbies and one of the first skills that gave me control over my life. I started around ten because I hated the food at the group home and needed meals that matched my tastes. With a shared kitchen and limited ingredients, cooking became the thing I could own every single day.

    Starting Small (and Getting Good)

    I began with eggs. Being a somewhat picky eater actually helped—my attention to detail kicked in. I watched heat, timing, and seasoning, asking: Did I overcook these? Does the flavor make sense? I practiced until basic eggs tasted great every time. Cooking for my foster brothers sharpened that focus; when you cook for others, you notice things you’d ignore when it’s just you.

    Early lessons that stuck

    • Master one simple food in multiple ways (scrambled, fried, hard-boiled).
    • Taste as you go; adjust heat before things burn.
    • Keep quick notes: pan, heat, time—so you can repeat wins.

    The Donation-Bin Cookbook

    In a donation bin, I found a cookbook that cracked open a new world. It taught me sequence (fat → aromatics → liquid), and introduced glazes and confections—things I didn’t know I could make. It gave words to what I was trying to do by feel.

    Learning by Watching

    One staff member made a satisfying breakfast every morning. I studied their rhythm—prep → heat → plate—and how they cleaned as they went. No surprise that, to this day, building a good breakfast spread feels natural to me.

    TV, YouTube, and the “Why”

    As I got older, I learned from the best I could access—Gordon Ramsay and other award-winning chefs. I wasn’t just copying plates; I wanted to understand why things work so I could apply that logic to new ideas.

    • Why does resting meat matter?
    • Why does acid wake up a dish?
    • Why does gluten change texture?
      Once you know the why, you can invent.

    Cooking for Others Changes Everything

    Cooking for people with different tastes and dietary restrictions (vegetarian, vegan, dairy-free) pushed me out of my comfort zone. Cooking for large-scale events taught me that proportions, timing, and efficiency matter just as much as flavor.

    Food as Culture—and Communication

    Food is an expression of culture and a form of conversation. Paying attention to those nuances made me a better cook and a more open person:

    • Indian spice layering and tempering techniques
    • Jamaican curry, a sweeter expression that still hits deep
    • British comfort cooking and how migration shaped it
      As a Jamaican who grew up without my family, learning to cook our dishes pulled me closer to my roots. I also see the influence of African cooking—very different flavor profiles, but a clear hold on Jamaican cuisine.

    University Mode: Eating Well with Efficiency

    When you hit university (or any busy season), efficiency is the difference between eating well and giving up. Here’s what worked for me and what I recommend to anyone juggling time.

    1) Slow-Cooker Wins (set it, forget it, feed all week)

    • Salsa chicken: thighs + jar of salsa + onion → low 4–6h → shred for tacos/bowls.
    • Beans from dry: beans + onion + bay + water → portion and freeze for cheap protein.
    • Chuck roast: onion + carrots + stock → shred for rice or potatoes.
      Safety: thaw meats in the fridge first; keep the lid on so temps stay safe.

    2) Base-First Meal Prep (proteins fresh)

    A lot of efficient cooks prep bases on the weekend, then cook protein fresh on weeknights.
    Weekend (60–90 min):

    • Cook a pot of rice/quinoa or roast potatoes.
    • Roast a sheet pan of mixed veg.
    • Make one sauce (yogurt-garlic-lemon or soy-ginger).
      Weeknights (10–15 min):
    • Sear or air-fry a protein (chicken thighs, tofu, salmon) and drop it onto your prepped base + veg.
      This keeps meals lively: bases are ready, proteins stay juicy and fresh.

    3) Mastering a Marinade (Google vs. Understanding)

    Fast path (Google): search “<protein> 3-ingredient marinade,” cook tonight.
    Forever path (understanding):

    • Formula: ~3 parts oil : 1 part acid (lemon/vinegar) + salt + aromatics (garlic, herbs, spices). A pinch of sugar or honey = better browning.
    • Time guide:
      • Chicken thighs 30 min–24 h
      • Chicken breasts 30–90 min
      • Beef 4–24 h
      • Fish 15–45 min
      • Tofu 2–24 h
      • Veg 15–60 min
    • Pro tips:
      • Salt (or a light dry-brine ~1% by weight) does the real penetrating; acid mostly seasons the surface.
      • Always marinate in the fridge. You can marinate while thawing if it stays refrigerated the whole time.

    4) If Leftover Chicken Tastes “Off”

    Some people are sensitive to that day-two “warmed-over” flavor. Try:

    • Choose thighs over breasts (fat helps next-day flavor).
    • Cool fast, store tight: spread on a plate 20–30 min, then airtight container.
    • Reheat with moisture: splash of stock or sauce in a covered pan; don’t microwave dry.
    • Add fresh acid and herbs right before eating (lemon, vinegar, scallion, cilantro).
    • Crisp then sauce: quick sear to bring back browning, then toss in a fresh, punchy sauce.

    5) 10-Minute Protein Flow (plug into your bases)

    • Pan-sear chicken thighs: medium-high heat, 3–5 min/side, rest 5.
    • Broil breasts or salmon: 6–10 min depending on thickness.
    • Tofu: press 10 min, cube, pan-sear till golden, glaze in the last minute.

    A 60-Second Plating Lesson

    Plating doesn’t have to be fancy to be effective.

    • Warm the plate.
    • Build height (stack or lean slices).
    • Contrast colors (greens/herbs against pale carbs).
    • Use negative space (don’t cover the whole plate).
    • Finish strong: a drizzle (oil or sauce), a sprinkle (herbs/scallions), and a touch of flaky salt.

    How I Actually Built Skill (My Playbook)

    • Start with an anchor dish and perfect it (eggs, rice bowls, simple pasta).
    • Add one technique at a time: knife skills, heat control, emulsifying a sauce.
    • Study with purpose: watch a short video and use one idea today.
    • Cook for other people regularly—tastes differ, and it makes you adaptable.
    • Scale up sometimes (6–10 people): batch steps, protect timing, stay efficient.
    • Learn a culture through a dish: read a short history, buy the right spice, and listen for the story.
    • Travel helps (I haven’t done much yet), but you can “travel” by recipes, markets, and conversation.

    What Cooking Means to Me

    Cooking began as survival. It became a hobby I love—a way to think, create, and take care of people. It’s one of the simplest ways to connect and show love. And it’s proof that you can build a skill gradually, even with limited ingredients and a busy life.

    Start where I started: make one simple thing today, make it a little better tomorrow, and keep going. The skill you build will follow you everywhere.

  • The Foster Care Exit Plan: Your First Year on Your Own

    A survival and success guide for the year that sets the tone for your future

    Aging out of foster care is one of the biggest transitions you’ll ever face. You transition from a structured (sometimes overly structured) environment to full control — and full responsibility. It’s exciting, but it can also be overwhelming. This guide blends real-life survival tips with the lessons I’ve learned, so you can start your first year strong and build toward the future you want.


    1. Secure Your Housing Early

    Housing is the first big challenge — and there’s no one-size-fits-all path.

    If you’re in Florida, the RTI (Road to Independence) stipend can be a lifeline. If possible, save part of it before your exit date. That money can cover deposits, moving costs, or give you breathing room while you figure things out. Even small amounts set aside now can make a huge difference later.

    Your situation will shape your options:

    • Extended foster care can give you extra time to save, finish school, and prepare.
    • University dorms (my route) can offer built-in housing and financial aid through loans, scholarships, and campus jobs — that path gave me a huge sense of security in my first year.
    • Low-cost rentals could mean a small studio, renting a room, or sharing a place with roommates.
    • Family connections (if safe) can be a short-term bridge while you stabilize.

    General housing survival tips:

    • Read your lease before signing — it’s worth the effort.
    • Connect with your community — nonprofits, churches, or local aid groups can sometimes help with deposits or rent.
    • Use a friend’s couch if you have to — it’s not glamorous, but it’s better than unsafe situations.
    • Once you secure housing, build your home gradually as you can afford it. Essentials first, then small touches over time. The internet is full of affordable ways to make a place feel like yours — from secondhand lighting and lamps to artwork and small decor. But the priority is getting a roof over your head first.

    I remember in my early adult years having to be incredibly creative just to keep a roof over my head — whether that meant moving money around between accounts, finding quick income opportunities, or leaning on every connection I had. Times can be hard, and there’s rarely a shortcut, but adaptability and resourcefulness are your most important tools.


    2. Build Your Income Stream

    You can’t build stability without income — but how you get there depends on your skills, goals, and what’s available to you.

    Some of my foster brothers went straight for a CDL license and started trucking. Others learned trades like plumbing, electrical, or welding. These can pay well without requiring years of school, but they still demand training, certification, and a strong work ethic.

    College can be a good option, especially if it comes with housing or scholarships, but it’s not the only route. Without a clear sense of purpose, you can graduate with debt and still feel lost. The key is knowing yourself — what work you enjoy, what lifestyle you want, and how much you’re willing to invest in training or education to get there.

    Build two types of skills:

    • Life skills to save money and make daily life easier. For me, learning to fix computers meant I didn’t have to pay for repairs and could stretch my budget further. Cooking, budgeting, and basic DIY repairs can save hundreds each year.
    • Marketable skills to grow your income. Public speaking, for example, helped me deliver strong presentations in university — even against the toughest graders. Writing, leadership, communication, software skills, and team building all increase your value in the job market.

    Side hustles can help you build both skill sets while earning extra:

    • Freelance writing or design
    • Music gigs or event work
    • Selling products or services online
    • Leveraging skills you picked up in childhood or adulthood — tutoring, repair work, organizing, or other hands-on work

    Your goal is to eventually earn enough to invest — whether that’s in a business, property, or other opportunities. The internet is your friend for learning almost any skill for free or cheap. No matter the path, work hard, stay consistent, and be resilient.


    3. Take Care of Your Health

    You might be healthy now, but that can change fast — in my time in medicine, I’ve seen patients younger than me face life-changing diagnoses like cancer.

    • Get an annual check-up and include STD screening at least once a year.
    • Learn how to interact with your doctor: ask questions, understand your treatment plan, and keep copies of all important documents in one safe place.
    • If you’re a former foster youth, you may qualify for Medicaid until age 26 — apply right away.
    • Minimize alcohol — it might be fun, but it can ruin productivity and drain focus.
    • Heavy weed use early in life can hurt your memory and attention. If you’re curious, most people understand, but you could consider waiting until your 20s before making it a regular habit.

    Your health is an investment. Protect it early, because it’s much harder and more expensive to fix problems later.


    4. Build an Emergency Cushion

    We’ve already gone deep on finances in other posts — check out my money management guide for more. For now, remember:

    • Even $200 in savings can keep you from making a desperate decision in a crisis.
    • Avoid overdraft fees by keeping a small buffer in your account.
    • Know where to find emergency help — food banks, rental assistance programs, and foster alumni networks can bridge the gap.

    5. Find Your People

    Your network can shape your opportunities and protect you from isolation. As I said in my community involvement post, connection matters.

    • Stay close to at least one mentor or trusted adult who can help you think through big decisions.
    • Join activities that interest you — sports, volunteer work, creative projects.
    • Be selective about who you spend time with. I’ve seen foster brothers end up in prison, and the pull toward risky situations can be strong if those are the circles you stay in. You can still love and care about people without following them into trouble.

    6. Protect Your Identity, Safety, and Reputation

    Your reputation follows you everywhere — and the world can be quick to judge, regardless of what you’ve been through.

    • Keep key documents (birth certificate, Social Security card, ID) in a waterproof folder.
    • When you face a risky choice, list:
      1. What happens if it goes wrong?
      2. What happens if it goes right?
      3. Can you recover from the worst-case scenario?
        Early on, lean toward safer options until you understand the world better.
    • Learn as many useful skills as you can. If you’re great with people, lean into that — maybe create videos, network online, or put yourself out there in ways that align with your goals.
    • Give yourself grace. If your childhood was tumultuous, there’s going to be a lot of learning and unlearning. Depression, anxiety, and burnout are human, but if they spiral, they can block you from your goals. Stay ahead of them when you can, but don’t beat yourself up if they slow you down sometimes.
    • Avoid bad influences, especially if you know they could pull you into trouble. I’ve seen how quickly decision-making can blur when you’re in a dark place and surrounded by people in the same mindset.
    • Protect your reputation — once it’s damaged, it’s hard to rebuild, and unfortunately people may write you off quickly no matter what you’ve overcome.

    Bottom line: Your first year out is about stability first, then growth. Build a strong foundation so you can handle whatever comes next. You’ve already made it through challenges most people can’t imagine — that resilience will carry you far if you combine it with planning, adaptability, and good decisions.

    If you find this information helpful, please leave a comment below. Feel free to contact me with feedback for future posts and/or ideas. Thank you!

  • When Life Falls Apart: Don’t Just Be Strong, Be Strategic

    Let’s be real—rough times are unavoidable. Whether it’s burnout, financial struggle, grief, or just life coming at you sideways, at some point, you’re going to get hit. Hard.

    And when that happens, the world loves to throw out one word: resilience.

    Be strong. Stay tough. Keep going.
    But here’s the truth—resilience without a strategy will leave you stuck.

    It’s not enough to just “push through” when you have no direction. Because when things fall apart, even the strongest can break if they’re not equipped.

    That’s why I’ve come to believe in strategy over strength. You don’t need to wait until you’re in survival mode to start thinking about how you’ll survive.


    Before the Storm Hits: Set the Groundwork

    Hard times don’t always come with a warning. That’s why you build while it’s sunny. You need buffers and anchors:

    • Routines that still work when your motivation doesn’t.
    • Emergency funds, even if it’s $50 stashed away.
    • One or two people you can text when you’re not okay.
    • Self-awareness to know when you’re spiraling, not just “tired.”
    • Boundaries with environments that consistently drain you—this might mean reevaluating your job, your schedule, or how much you say “yes” when you’re already stretched thin.

    For those of us without strong support systems growing up, counseling has often been the first place we learn to speak openly. I’ve found it crucial—not just for venting, but for understanding patterns. When I was finally able to talk through my struggles and then go home and journal honestly about my results, I could actually see what behaviors were helping—or hurting—my progress. That kind of self-reflection became my anchor.

    Preparation isn’t pessimism. It’s self-protection.


    Once You’re In It: Don’t Just Cope—Strategize

    Sometimes the storm still hits harder than expected. You’re already in the thick of it. This is where the real strategy kicks in—not just surviving, but finding ways to keep yourself from sinking further.


    Tactical Moves When You’re Struggling

    Here’s what that strategy might look like in real life:

    🧠 Lean on People
    Talk to someone—friends, family, a partner, church, a support group. Even a 5-minute check-in can stop you from mentally spiraling. Don’t isolate yourself trying to “handle it.”

    There was a time in med school where I truly thought it was over. I couldn’t move forward, and all that work—years of sacrifice—felt like it had collapsed. I had no one. But one faculty member believed in me, stepped in, and gave me a shot. Without their help, I wouldn’t be graduating with an MD next year. One person can change everything.

    🍽️ Nourish Your Brain
    Low magnesium and vitamin D can quietly wreck your mood. A simple supplement routine, or just making sure you eat something real (not just vending machine food), matters more than we admit. Creatine has also been shown to help with mood—especially when paired with exercise.

    🛌 Sleep Like It’s Your Job
    Poor sleep mimics depression. Set a wind-down routine, cut screen time, use melatonin, block out light—whatever you need to protect your rest. Even a nap can change your whole day.

    🏃‍♂️ Move Your Body
    Walk, stretch, lift, dance. Movement is medicine. You’re not doing this to “look good.” You’re doing it to get out of your head. Bonus points if you get some sun on your skin.

    🧘‍♀️ Get Professional Help
    Therapy is strategy. So are SSRIs if you need them. Sometimes the best move is admitting you need help managing the storm chemically, especially if it’s hormonal or trauma-based.

    🎧 Use Music and Art
    Music can shift you faster than almost anything. So can drawing, painting, writing, or anything creative. You don’t have to be good at it. You just have to be honest through it.

    Personally, as an INFP, I’ve always been inclined to feel things deeply. Artists like Daniel Caesar speak directly to that part of me. I’ve found that letting myself fully experience the emotion—love, anger, sadness—and working through it helps. Playing it on piano takes it even further. Sometimes rough times are deeply emotional, and that’s okay. Don’t rush yourself out of feeling.

    📓 Journaling = Survival Tool
    Use it to reflect. Track your thoughts. Set goals. And most importantly: write down your why.
    When you’re procrastinating something important, it’s usually because the reason you started is buried under stress. Write down why it matters to you. Then break it into something small: “Send the email.” “Open the doc.” “Write for 10 minutes.” That’s progress.

    🌍 Get Around People
    You don’t need deep conversation. Just presence. Go to a coffee shop. Volunteer. Sit in the park. The nervous system picks up regulation from being around people.

    📴 Control the Inputs
    Limit doomscrolling. Mute people who drain you. Turn off unnecessary notifications. Protect your mental bandwidth like it’s a bank account.

    🕯️ Faith, Stillness, or Something Bigger
    It doesn’t have to be religious. Just something that reminds you this moment isn’t all there is. Pray, meditate, take a slow walk—whatever helps you zoom out.

    🤝 Help Someone Else
    Sometimes the fastest way to get out of your own head is to help someone else in theirs. Acts of service, big or small, restore a sense of purpose.

    🧰 Make an Emotional First-Aid Kit
    When things go dark, have your go-to list:

    • One friend to call
    • One playlist to listen to
    • One quote or voice note that grounds you

    The Mindset Shift: Optimism and Gratitude (Even Now)

    This is where people roll their eyes. Because when your world is on fire, the last thing you want is someone telling you to “stay positive.”

    But optimism isn’t fake smiling or pretending it doesn’t hurt. It’s the discipline of believing things can get better. That there’s still good coming. That this pain isn’t the end of your story.

    Start small:

    • A meal that tasted good
    • A song that hit right
    • A stranger’s kindness

    You’re not ignoring your pain—you’re refusing to drown in it.

    Gratitude isn’t denial. It’s rebellion.
    A refusal to let darkness take over every part of your world.


    Final Thought

    You can’t avoid hard times. But you can prepare. You can respond. You can rebuild.

    And if you’re in it right now—keep going. Don’t just try to be strong. Be strategic.

    Because strategy is how you keep standing—even when everything around you falls apart.

  • 10 Ways to Build Community

    10 Ways to Build Community

    When you don’t grow up with a strong support system—whether from foster care, family struggles, or just doing life solo. It’s easy to feel like everyone else has their circle, and you’re just orbiting outside it.

    That feeling can follow you into adulthood. I’ve felt it. Still do sometimes. But I’ve been learning that community isn’t a switch you flip—it’s something you build slowly, in layers, and on your own terms.

    You don’t need to make a million friends. You don’t need to force connections that don’t feel right. What you need is a few go-to spaces and consistent efforts, rooted in what feels like you.

    Here are 10 ways I’ve been building community in Miami—and how you can start, even if you feel like you’re starting from scratch:


    1. Volunteering

    Whether it’s a beach cleanup, food pantry, or local mutual aid, volunteering helps you meet people while doing something that matters. You don’t need to be outgoing. Just showing up is enough.

    2. Run Clubs and Pickup Sports

    I ran track and loved basketball in high school, so I always find ways to stay active in those activities. It’s easier to bond with people when you’re sharing a common goal—whether it’s a workout or a win.

    3. Free Events

    Markets, art walks, or local festivals let you ease into the social scene. You don’t have to talk to everyone. Just being out, soaking up the energy, can shift how you feel about where you live.

    4. Apps Like Meetup or Bumble BFF

    These can help you find niche groups and casual hangouts. They’re not always perfect, but they give you options and help you practice putting yourself out there.

    5. Go Solo Anyway

    Don’t wait for someone to come with you. Go to the pop-up, the poetry night, the community class. The more you show up for yourself, the easier it gets. And you never know who you’ll meet.

    6. Coffee Shops or Regular Spots

    Find a place where you feel comfortable. For me, it’s one specific café where I plan my week. Over time, I’ve started recognizing faces. Even a little familiarity goes a long way.

    7. Take a Class for Fun

    Whether it’s pottery, boxing, or a dance class, you’ll meet people in a relaxed setting where the focus isn’t on networking. It’s on learning, and that naturally leads to conversation.

    8. Nightlife (If That’s Your Thing)

    Not everyone’s scene, but it’s worth mentioning. If you go out with the right people and boundaries, bars and clubs can be a space to unwind and meet new folks—especially in a city like Miami.

    9. Host Something Small

    You don’t need a crowd. A taco night or game night with two people is enough to start building something real. These small get-togethers can turn into something meaningful.

    10. Try a Church or Faith-Based Group

    Whether you’re figuring it out or you’re further along in your faith, church can offer structure, connection, and support. Many have small groups or events where you can meet people and feel part of something steady.


    Final Thought
    Building community takes time. You don’t have to force it or rush it. A few consistent spaces, a couple of people you vibe with—that’s more than enough.
    And sometimes, the slowest connections are the most lasting ones.