From Foster Care to Medicine

Tag: medical

  • Look the Part: A Real-World Guide to Appearance for Foster Youth or Anyone Else Looking to Improve

    Look the Part: A Real-World Guide to Appearance for Foster Youth or Anyone Else Looking to Improve

    If no one ever taught you how to “look professional,” you’re not alone. Some of us grew up watching people survive—not walk into interviews, internships, or meetings with clean shoes and quiet confidence. But if you’re trying to go further in life—career, respect, love, leadership—then your appearance matters, even when it shouldn’t.

    This isn’t about looking rich. It’s about looking like you care. This guide is for anyone building themselves from the ground up. In this article, I delve into broad categories to give you things to think about to improve how you dress.

    🎨 1. The Power of Color: Start with Navy or Charcoal

    You don’t need a closet full of outfits—just a system. I still remember getting my first navy suit. It was a little big on me, but I used it for interviews, headshots, and presentations all the way into medical school. It was clean, neutral, and flexible enough to wear to anything. I also wanted to include some of my personal favorite casual seasonal colors that I wear when I am more focused on enjoying life:

    ✔ The Core 4 Neutrals:

    • Navy – Works with gray, white, tan, burgundy
    • Gray – Clean with black, navy, white
    • Tan/Khaki – Pairs well with navy, olive, white, and brown
    • Black – Goes with white, gray (but avoid navy unless you know what you’re doing)
    • Bonus: Personal favorite casual fits by season:
      • Fall: Brown/Orange and Dark Blue/Olive
      • Summer: Off whites (think linen, although a tad pricey)/ Tan
      • Spring: Lavender and baby blue/ white
      • Winter: Brown/Black, Grey/ Black – I tend to go for more stoic colors during these months.

    When in doubt, wear neutral pants and a simple shirt. Add one detail that feels like you—a chain, a ring, your favorite watch.

    💼 2. Fit > Flash: Especially If You’re Tall and Slim

    As someone tall and slim, I learned the hard way that clothes don’t automatically drape right. A lot of stuff “fit” in the store, but when I saw pictures of myself, I looked like I was borrowing someone else’s clothes.

    Tailoring is expensive, so:

    • Choose slim or athletic cuts when possible.
    • If the sleeves go past your wrist or pants stack at the ankle, it’s too long.
    • Work out just enough to fill out shirts better (more on that later).
    • My personal favorite suits: As someone in the 150-160lb range and 6 feet tall, I found Calvin Klein X-fit slim fit suits to be the best for me without tailoring.

    “I didn’t need more clothes—I needed fewer pieces that actually fit.”

    🔧 Bonus: No One Irons Anymore. Here’s How You Still Show Up Crisp

    Wrinkles can kill an otherwise clean look. Try these:

    • Ice cube in the dryer – 10–15 minutes with a few cubes = steam.
    • Hang it in the bathroom – Let a hot shower dewrinkle it while you prep.
    • Wrinkle-release spray – Spray, smooth by hand, hang for 10 minutes.

    Creases are not okay. Showing up wrinkled tells the world you don’t care—even if you do.

    🧴 3. Skincare: You Can Fix This Without a Dermatologist

    I didn’t always have access to a doctor, but I knew my skin needed help. People may not say it out loud, but clear, healthy skin changes how they treat you.

    What You’re Dealing With:

    • Regular acne = blackheads, whiteheads, surface pimples
    • Cystic acne = deep, painful lumps under the skin

    Drugstore Routine (Budget ~$30):

    • Cleanser: CeraVe Foaming or Neutrogena Oil-Free
    • Treatment:
      • Benzoyl Peroxide (for surface acne)
      • Adapalene (retinoid for deeper acne/skin turnover)
    • Moisturizer: CeraVe or Vanicream (don’t skip this)
    • Sunblock: Especially if you use retinoids—sunlight will irritate or discolor your skin
    • Hydration: This helps your body and skin really shine!
    • As you get older, and once you have a basic skin care routine, eye care is a great addition

    “Clean skin shows up before your résumé does. Even tone + healthy glow = people listening longer.”

    💇️ 4. Hair: Barber vs. DIY

    When I couldn’t always afford a cut, I bought clippers and learned. It wasn’t perfect at first, but it kept me clean and saved me $30 every two weeks.

    • Learn the basics: lineups, taper, beard shaping, great cheap clippers on the market
    • YouTube teachers:
      • 360Jeezy
      • Andy Authentic
      • Naptural85

    You don’t need waves or braids or a fade. You need a clean, intentional look. That alone sets you apart.

    💪🏾 5. Fitness: Not for Abs—For Presence

    I started working out not to be ripped, but because clothes fit better. Pushups and pull-ups helped me fill out shirts. I stood taller. People looked at me differently.

    Start here:

    • Bodyweight basics: Pushups, pull-ups, squats, planks, dips, hanging leg raises
    • Goal: 3x a week, 20–30 minutes; I personally find it easier to go 6x a week habitually so when in doubt try that
    • Once the habits are down, then focus on intensity; going to failure each set and incorporating progressive overload
    • Small win: Track your reps and progress

    We’ll go deeper into diet and fitness in future posts, but here’s the truth:

    “Strong posture and clean clothes beat designer labels every time.”

    ⌚ 6. Jewelry and Accessories: Don’t Overdo It

    When I started wearing a Seiko watch, I got compliments for the first time on how I “carried” myself. It wasn’t flashy. It was clean. It looked grown.

    Watches to consider:

    • Seiko – Elegant, timeless, automatic
    • Casio G-Shock – Rugged and dependable
    • Timex Weekender – Affordable classic
    • Apple Watch has great utility and if it is in your budget absolutely a great addition

    Starter accessories:

    • Ring: One clean band or signet ring
    • Chain: Thin, silver or gold—just one
    • Glasses: Tortoise, black, or clear frames that fit your face (clean them!)

    Don’t go overboard. One or two personal pieces max. No one should be distracted by your accessories.

    🤾️ 7. Posture + Speech = The Secret Sauce

    Growing up, I mumbled a lot. I slouched. People looked over me—even when I was trying hard to speak up. Changing that didn’t cost money—it took practice and even today still requires practice.

    • Stand straight: Shoulders back, chin level
    • Speak clearly: Slow down. Speak from your chest.
    • Don’t shrink yourself: Look people in the eye, even if it feels weird

    “You can be dressed head to toe in the right outfit, but if you sound unsure or small, they’ll treat you that way.”

    🏢 8. Wardrobe Management: Respect, Not Flex

    In the workplace, less is more. Don’t wear loud brands or show off. You’re trying to be taken seriously.

    • Limit to one or two buttons: Unbuttoning more than that says “club,” not “clinic.”
    • If your clothes have holes, stains, or wear, it’s time to let them go.

    Build a Sustainable Rotation:

    • 2–3 pairs of pants (dark neutral, light neutral, maybe one bold)
    • 4–6 shirts (white, light blue, gray, one print or color)
    • 1–2 pairs of clean shoes
    • Undershirts and socks that aren’t stretched or discolored

    “Looking like you take care of your wardrobe means people assume you take care of your work too.”

    Personal Example:

    In medicine, I’m lucky—I wear scrubs most days. It’s a daily uniform that avoids decision fatigue. But when I step into business casual or a suit, I treat it like armor: clean, intentional, and distraction-free.

    📅 Big Day Fit Formula (Interview or First Impression)

    • Navy or charcoal pants
    • White or light blue button-down
    • Brown or black shoes (polished)
    • No wrinkles
    • One watch or bracelet
    • Hair clean, face groomed

    🔄 What’s Next: Refining the Look

    I’ve built my base. Now it’s about refining the edges.

    • I’m slowly adding pocket squares and cuff links—small details that elevate a plain outfit.
    • I’m continuing to work out, not just for health, but so I look confident whether I’m in scrubs, business casual, or a suit.
    • I want to be ready for networking events, not just show up. That means looking the part and feeling it.

    “You don’t have to become someone else—you just have to show up as the strongest version of yourself.”

    🧬 Final Word: You’re Not Faking—You’re Building

    You don’t have to be rich, famous, or “naturally polished” to clean up. You just need a little system, some consistency, and the will to bet on yourself.

    “Looking like you belong doesn’t mean you’re fake. It means you’re ready.”

    And if no one showed you how—now you know.

  • Who Am I Without a Map? Morals, Identity, and Growing Up Without a Guide

    Who Am I Without a Map? Morals, Identity, and Growing Up Without a Guide

    I spent a lot of time as a kid wondering who I was.

    When you grow up in the foster care system, identity doesn’t come with a family crest or neatly passed-down traditions. Instead, it’s a question you carry everywhere. I used to wonder about my real family—were they rich or poor? Were they smart? Where did I come from, and what did that say about me?

    I had light brown hair and freckles that confused people. I spoke in a way other Black kids said sounded “white.” And depending on which home I was placed in, my religion would change—I vividly remember one year practicing Judaism, Jehovah’s Witness, and Christianity all in the same twelve months. You learn to adapt. You learn to survive. But in the process, you also learn to question your identity at every turn.

    Morals or Survival?

    Looking back, I wonder if my early “morals” were really just survival instincts. I had a strong aversion to lying or stealing—not because anyone sat me down and taught me that, but because I desperately wanted to be seen as someone who belonged in society. I wanted to be good. I wanted to be accepted.

    That said, those values stuck. Even when being honest made me look bad, I told the truth. I hated violence and, at one point in my life, I even committed to pacifism. Maybe they started as survival tactics, but they became part of who I am.

    Hyper-Adaptability and a Fragile Sense of Self

    When your identity is fragile—when you don’t know where you fit—you start to hide yourself. Or sometimes, you become hyper-individualized just to stand out, to prove you’re not invisible. I think that carried with me well into adulthood. I became good at code-switching, at mirroring others, trying to survive in rooms where I didn’t feel like I belonged. But the downside is it can seriously mess with your sense of self.

    You can start to wonder: who am I really, when I’m not adapting to survive?

    Learning to Choose Myself

    Adulthood became the turning point. For me, building a real sense of identity started with asking:
    What kind of person do I want to be when this life is over? What experiences do I want? Who do I want to have been?

    That’s when I started taking control. I began connecting with communities that gave me a sense of meaning—whether it was people I met at the basketball court or others in the medical field. Pursuing medicine sharpened my focus on ethics, professionalism, and work ethic. I wanted to be someone people trust. I wanted to contribute. And I wanted to learn how to connect with people who were nothing like me.

    I also started saying something I never had the courage to say before:
    “This is who I am.”
    Because I realized that growth wouldn’t come unless I accepted myself first.

    I Still Struggle Sometimes

    Even now, I struggle with self-worth. I look around at classmates who seem to know exactly how to navigate competitive fields like surgery. They move with certainty and confidence I didn’t grow up seeing. But I remind myself: I’m not here to copy anyone’s path. I’m here to build mine—based on the values I’ve earned through living.

    And when you’re trying to enter a field like medicine—where stability, confidence, and polish are almost assumed—it can feel like you’re playing catch-up in every direction. I didn’t grow up learning how to network, how to ask for help, or how to even picture myself in these spaces. The grit is there, but sometimes the polish takes longer to develop. That gap, if unspoken, can quietly shape who makes it and who doesn’t.

    You Don’t Need a Map to Move Forward

    If you’re reading this and you’ve also grown up without stability—whether in foster care, trauma, or any other form of instability—I hope you know this:

    You are not broken.

    You haven’t been handed a blueprint, but that doesn’t mean you can’t draw your own. You can choose your values. You can become someone you’re proud of. For me, basketball helped. Medicine helped. So did a few faculty mentors who saw something in me. It all helped—but only once I decided to stop running from my story and start building with it.

    Final Thoughts

    I’ve moved homes 18 times. I’ve been praised in failing schools and humbled in elite ones. I’ve been an outsider in almost every room I’ve walked into. But I’ve also built something I never had growing up: a sense of who I am.

    And I’m still building.

    You don’t need a map to get where you’re going. You just need the courage to keep moving, and the honesty to make sure it’s really you walking the path.

  • The Foster Kid in the White Coat

    The Foster Kid in the White Coat

    I’m not a doctor yet. But I’ve gotten farther than I was supposed to.

    I didn’t grow up around medicine — not in my home, not in my neighborhood, not in the system I came up through.

    I grew up in Florida’s foster care system and started this journey with more questions than answers, and fewer resources than most. What I did have — and still have — is grit.

    Medicine hasn’t always gone my way. I’ve had a few missteps. Moments that made me question if I could keep up, if I belonged, or if this was even possible.

    But the way I see it, perseverance is part of the training.

    I’m currently on a research year — learning, growing, and building. I started this blog to document the path as I walk it, not from the finish line.

    If you’re coming from a place where you weren’t expected to succeed — and you’re trying anyway — I hope this space reminds you that you’re not alone.